It was wonderful seeing Harry again. Memories of how kind he had been to me in my last few days in San Francisco flooded me when we hugged in greeting. I was excited to introduce him to my friends and family, and to show him around my home town and some of my favorite haunts.
That evening we went up to my parents' house for dinner. My family is pretty normal I think, stern authoritarian Austrian father, bubbly vivacious welcoming Sicilian mother, 3 brothers, 3 sisters. We were a noisy bunch, and as dinner was being prepared, Harry sat back on the couch, trying to melt away from the din that was rising.
He too came from a large family, but seemed overwhelmed by mine. Of course my mom did her best to make him feel welcome, filling his plate with spaghetti and meat sauce. We all talked at once, and of course old stories of me as a child came up, and the various escapades we were involved in filled the air, along with laughter and a general good humor.
By the time we got back to my house later that evening, the look on Harry's face told me he felt a bit out of his league, but I got him comfortable on my couch and we watched some TV, talked and drank, and ultimately started playing records. Things felt more manageable at that point, and we planned to drive to the Oregon coast the next day.
It was breezy and cold but sunny when we got to Newport in the early afternoon. After walking in the sand and exploring the tide pools, we retired to the back of his truck where we started to mess around a bit. Kissing and giggling, it was fun, and it started to get a bit more steamy. He was a bit shy and reserved, and I started to get impatient, pushing him to take it up a notch. Clearly he was uncomfortable, so I gave up, and we headed back to Corvallis for some dinner and to meet up with my friends at Squirrels.
He was quiet and reserved again, but found the common ground of music to share with my friends so it wasn't quite as awkward for him as it was at my parents' house. He was planning on leaving the next morning to drive back to San Francisco, so we headed back to my place to spend some more time alone together. It seemed as if we were starting to get involved, and while I don't really remember the conversation, we must have agreed to give the relationship a shot.
He headed out that morning with promises to write and call every day. I was planning on moving back to San Francisco that fall, and was sure we could handle the few months apart while I put together my plan to return to the city.
True to his word, he sent me a letter shortly after he got home telling me how much he missed me, and I in turn was starting to feel a bit sad as well. He was sweet and shy, but we had so much in common; not only the love of punk rock, but a mutual love of camping, hiking, and nature in general. We discussed all this in our letters to each other, as well as sharing information about a new band he had joined called Cringer. He was the second guitar player, with another Maximum Rock n' Roller rooommate, Lance Hahn on lead guitar and vocals. They were starting to get alot of gigs around the Bay, including playing the infamous Gilman Street.
I was so excited to get a package in the mail with their first single, and I promptly took it to KBVR and played it on my show. Lance had a pretty sister named Heather who was apparently spending alot of time helping the band move equipment and get to their shows. Harry wrote about her, and I had this vague uneasiness in my stomach that something wasn't quite right there, but I dismissed it.
After several letters of this, he finally called me one night, and confessed that he and Heather had messed around, and he felt terribly guilty and pretty upset. He felt if I was there, things wouldn't have developed. I was pretty pissed, and felt very betrayed. He knew what my situation was, and that I would be moving there as soon as possible. It was a reminder of the other times in my life that I had been betrayed by someone I cared about, and I was furious and deeply hurt. I was ready to end it right then; screw that whole scene!
He promised to put an end to it, and told me Lance was looking for a roommate to move into his own place. I made him promise Heather wouldn't show her face around me if I moved in with Lance, which he said wouldn't be a problem. I hadn't met Lance yet, but felt confident it would be fine so made arrangements to move to San Francisco in Sept. Deb was planning on moving to the city as well, so we agreed to all share the apartment together to help cut down on rent.
September 15 1990, I packed up my car and again took my leave of Oregon, heading for the bright lights of San Francisco. My plan was to spend 2 years there, and then get ready for graduate school. I had said my goodbyes to my friends again the night before, and with a sense of adventure and anticipation for life in the big city again, I got back on I-5 and headed south to my new home and a reunion with my boyfriend Harry.
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