the lessons of life and love

I was DJing every week by now, a 3 hour show from 8 to 11 pm each night. It was great. I pretty much had put all my attention and energy on djing, writing, going to shows and promoting the bands I loved. I became PSA director for the station, and was responsible for putting together the public service announcements for the DJs to read or play during their show. I was living in a tower apartment, one of the highest buildings in Corvallis. I had just come back from working for 6 months in the Malheur desert as a cook on a remote science field station. I had met a sexy handsome fellow named Ken who looked like a model. He was 6' 4" to my 5' 2", muscled, gorgeous, and smart. We would talk on the phone almost every night. He lived in Sacramento, CA, so we were trying to keep the relationship alive. I had become really good friends with a number of the DJs at the station, including Kris and Chris, female and male, respectively, as well as Steve, who I had a huge crush on, and Karena and Sally Anne. Ken came to visit me and I took him out to have lunch with my friends so they could meet my handsome fellow. Boy, what a blow that was. He was arrogant, rude and so full of himself, talking down to the waitress. It was awful. My friends couldnt' believe I was dating such a jerk, and frankly, I couldn't either. Beauty and sex blinded me to his real personality, and that night, I made him sleep on the floor and I broke up with him the next day. He headed back to Sacramento, and I've never heard from him again. I don't even remember his last name. I'd like to get in touch with him again to apologize for how harshly I ended that relationship. Shortly after that ended, Steve and I got physically involved. I was crazy about him. He and his girlfriend had just broken up, and I think he was feeling the need for some ego stroking and I was just the person to do it. I had stars in my eyes. He was tall, blonde, handsome and smart. And he knew everything about music. He was one of the best DJs at KBVR, and I couldn't believe he would notice me. We were working together at The Beanery, and I was always so tongue-tied around him. I don't really remember the sequence of events, but I know he knew I was crazy about him. I was getting ready to head back to the desert to go work again as a cook, and he made me a tape of music to take with me, as well as a tape of one of his shows where he dedicated a song to me. We hadn't done anything yet, and when I got back into town, the first thing I did was go to a party to find him. We were all drinking, listening to music, and flirting, and finally, he made his move. I was crazy about him, and of course went back to his house to spend the night. My sister was getting married the next day, and I was groggy and hung over, but so happy. The world could do no wrong. The boy of my dreams noticed me! And wanted me! I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. This went on like this for several weeks, us sleeping together, but there was never talk of me becoming his girlfriend. I was pouring my heart out to my friend Kris, telling her how much I liked him, how crazy I was about him, on and on and on. I trusted her completely. After all, she had a boyfriend, my friend Chris. One night, Chris came over to my little tower apartment in tears. He told me that she and Steve were seeing eachother. I couldn't believe it though, she was my friend, and she knew how I felt about him. I confronted her, and she told me it was true. I was furious, and hurt beyond belief. How could someone do something like that? I hated her, and I was never again to be friends with her. I was also angry at Steve, and I told him how I felt. I dont' really know why, but I was able to forgive him, and we stayed friends. But the betrayal I felt from her never left my heart.